Oh, Behave: 3-year old is banging her head

My three-year-old daughter has wild temper tantrums. I don’t give in, I try to act calmly and keep her safe throughout. Now she’s started banging her head on the floor or the wall. My mother told me to just give her a helmet. I think she’s going to smash a hole in my wall if I do that. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Help!
VICTORIA, BC

JOE: Talk to your paediatrician and have an assessment done by a registered psychologist to figure out what this behaviour means and to find solutions to whatever is causing it. Request a written report. I often say, “One thing worse than knowing, is not knowing,” and I believe this to be true in parenting, too. Let’s see this as a process of finding things out and then let the knowing plus new information be your guide. Soliciting the help of others (professionals, friends, your own mom) is a strategy – not giving up. After all, asking for directions doesn’t always mean you are lost.