Everything you need to know to help your children sleep better

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According to research, having a new baby typically results in 750 hours
of lost sleep for parents in the first year. For some moms and dads,
sleep deprivation continues. Surveys have shown that 68 percent of moms
are chronically sleep deprived, falling short of the sleep we need at
least a couple of nights each week. All of this can lead to conditions
such as depression, weight gain, irritability, fatigue and even
insomnia. Here’s everything you ever needed to know to help your
children sleep better, and you too.

Advances in technology have changed people’s sleeping patterns over the past century. It began with the 
invention of the light bulb in the late 19th century to today’s
proliferation of TVs, computers and handheld  devices being used in
bedrooms. “Studies show that we’re sleeping less today than we did 100
years ago,” says Dr. Shelly Weiss, a neurologist who specializes in
children’s sleep disorders at Toronto’s SickKids Hospital and the author
of Better Sleep for Your Baby & Child.

Sleep deprived
children are no different than sleep-deprived adults: They can’t focus
on simple tasks, and they’re irritable and more susceptible to getting

“Sleep is as essential to our well-being as food and
water,” says Dr. Weiss. “It gives us time to rest our bodies and our
brains, and increases our ability to deal with serious infections.”

isn’t the only thing that could be derailing your child’s sleep.
Sleepwalking, insomnia and night terrors can wreak havoc on the entire
family’s sleep.


Also called somnambulism,
sleepwalking occurs most commonly between four and six years and usually
stops by age six or seven, although two percent of adults will continue
to sleepwalk. Most children sleepwalk in the first couple of hours
after they fall asleep. About 15 to 40 percent of all children have
sleepwalked once, but only one to six percent sleepwalk often.

the case for Jen and Rory Buchalter’s daughter, Zoe. In 2006, Zoe, then
two, started sleepwalking two nights a week. At around 11 p.m. one
night, they heard a noise upstairs. When they checked Zoe’s bedroom,
their daughter was  standing in front of her mirrored closet, moving her
hands up and down in the air like a belly dancer.

“I said,
‘Zoe, what are you doing?’” recalls Jen. “She stopped and looked at me
with her eyes open but glazed, and I realized she was still asleep.”

told Jen not to touch her daughter, so she said, “Zoe, let’s go to
bed.” Zoe followed her mother back to her bedroom, lay on her bed and
didn’t stir from that position until morning. This became a familiar
pattern. Jen and Rory decided not to mention it to Zoe, since she didn’t
appear to have any recollection of what had happened.

When Jen
realized she had a sleepwalker on her hands, she searched the Internet
and also mentioned it to Zoe’s pediatrician, who said that it wasn’t
uncommon and that she would probably outgrow it.

“Usually Zoe
tries to complete a task when she’s sleepwalking,” says Jen. “She has
brushed her teeth, changed her clothes and moved a stool to the window
to look outside.” Sometimes she speaks and explains what she wants to
do, but usually she’s silent. Jen verbally guides her back to bed.

“The most important thing with children who sleepwalk is to ensure their
safety,” says Dr. Weiss:

  • Don’t put a lock on their bedroom door in case a fire breaks out in the night.
  • Do block stairway access with a baby gate, as the Buchalters did to prevent Zoe from falling.
  • Don’t
    wake your sleepwalking child. Instead, let her finish the episode, then
    lead her calmly back to bed without touching her; she’ll naturally fall
    back to sleep without your help.

Dr. Weiss doesn’t believe
there’s any need to tell your child she sleepwalks, unless it’s to
explain the presence of a safety feature such as a baby gate. In such a
case, keep the explanation brief and lighthearted, then don’t mention it
again; you don’t want to give her cause to be anxious about her
sleepwalking, which might cause other sleep problems, such as being
anxious about falling asleep.

Today Zoe is eight. “I haven’t had a
solid night’s sleep in five years!” laughs Jen, who always has one ear
tuned to Zoe’s bedroom throughout the night.

Over the years,
Zoe’s sleepwalking gradually decreased from twice a week to once a week
to once a month, but when she started Grade 2 this past fall, she began
sleepwalking almost nightly. And so the sleepless nights return.


is the most common childhood sleep problem, and can occur from infancy
to early adolescence. It’s characterized by difficulty falling asleep at
night, trouble sleeping through the night or waking too early in the
morning. “Insomnia isn’t one disorder but a symptom that can be caused
by many different problems,” says Dr. Weiss. “In children, it’s most
commonly caused by behavioural problems.”

For example, it’s a
natural part of growing up for your son to try to test the limits at
bedtime to see what control he has over his parents. But if you don’t
set proper sleep limits, this tug of war results in him getting
inadequate sleep. If you are tired in the evening, it can be tough to
enforce a regular bedtime for your son, and it doesn’t help if you and
your partner disagree on what the limits should be. If after you put
your son to bed, he demands more stories, more songs, more water and
more visits to the bathroom, a behavioural problem is causing his

The best approach to improve your child’s sleep is to
deal with one behavioural issue at a time, and to be patient during the
process. Also keep in mind that each problem is an acquired habit, not a
sign of inadequate parenting. If you think your child has insomnia,
discuss it with his pediatrician.

Night Terrors

your child have a night terror is a scary experience. He may sit up
abruptly in bed, let out a loud panicky scream, act in a confused and
frightening way, begin to sweat with his heart racing and look
terrified. A stressful event, experience or sleep deprivation can prompt
a night terror, which can be followed by sleepwalking. As with
sleepwalkers, don’t touch a child having a night terror. This could
increase his agitation or make him react violently.

terrors aren’t harmful to the child, and in general they don’t mean
there are any emotional or psychological problems in your child,” says
Dr. Weiss. “However, if they’re persistent or they start after age six,
they may represent some underlying problems.” If that’s the case, speak
to your child’s pediatrician.

Doucet is a freelance writer based in Halifax. Her last feature for
ParentsCanada was about a mother and daughter losing weight together on
the reality TV show, X-Weighted.

Originally published in ParentsCanada, May/June 2012

Photography: Media Bakery

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