I like being a single dad. Well, I’m really only a single dad half the time – every other week when my two boys stay with me. The other week I’m just single – and I like that too.
The week-on/week-off routine works well for me. When I have the boys I’m more motivated and involved than I ever was (or could be) when I was a full-time co-parent.
The weeks I don’t have the kids are also fun. It’s been great to get to know myself as a single guy again. I have more time for my friends and my hobbies. Even the return to the dating world has been positive (if you can ignore the unsolicited, Two-and-a-Half Meninspired dating advice from the pimply progeny). It’s nice to know that there are women out there who actually like me.
When that single week is over, I’m missing my boys, but they move back in; I’m re-energized and ready to rock. I’m happier – and that makes me a more motivated person and dad. My ex is also a happier person. We get along better now than we did for much of the time we were married. It’s just easier. And most importantly, it’s working for the kids. Sure there was a difficult adjustment period, but despite somewhat more complicated schedules (which have made them much more organized) they are thriving in two well-adjusted homes.
Is it too much to say that it’s the best of both worlds? Probably. But my ex and I always put our kids first in our marriage and we continue to do so in our divorce. And for our family, it’s working.
Published March 2010