Family Life
3 min Read
Mommy Laugh Track: School’s in. When’s the first holiday?

August 17, 2011
Family Life
3 min Read
August 17, 2011
As the allure of the first day of school wears off, my kids are already plotting how to stay home.
THE BEGINNING OF SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER IS LIKE THE START OF THE NEW YEAR FOR MOST MOMS.
That giddy feeling of starting fresh; kids at the front door, faces scrubbed, knapsacks sparkling with all zippers working, lunchboxes in an un-mouldy state and un-ripped clothes that fit. You idiotically grin and say “Won’t Grade 3/6/9 be fun?”
But by the time they get off the bus at the end of the day, they’re hot, sweaty, complaining and asking how many sleeps until the first PD day. So I decided, as a public service, to provide some ready-to-use responses for moms, to be delivered when the kids hit home during the first week of school and are looking for any excuse to stay home. Answers that should serve them until at least the next school holiday or until you’re offering them $20 to just “take the knapsack out to the garage and shake it out over the garbage.” (Listen, even if you lose a recorder or two this way, it’s worth it not to have to dig in past the gym clothes and sticky clumps to salvage it.)
WRITE DOWN THESE SNAPPY COMEBACKS:
In fact, since we’re on a new year theme, perhaps it’s best for us moms to choose a resolution for the school year. For starters, I’m thinking of resolving to support animal rights by boycotting the Grade 6 production of “Howard the Duck.”
Read more of Kathy’s tales of motherhood online at parentscanada.com, kathybuckworth.com, or follow her at twitter.com/kathybuckworth. Her book, Shut Up and Eat! Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay, is in bookstores across Canada.