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Comic Relief: Actor Jonathan Torrens shares his advice on fatherhood

Just in time for Father’s Day, actor Jonathan Torrens shares some Dadvice he wishes he’d been given before embarking on his Dadventure.

The Big To-Do

  1. I know you’re excited but don’t go around telling people “we’re pregnant”. Because WE’RE not.
  2. Before he/she is born, refer to the baby as “the person who’s coming to stay with us”. It’s way less daunting a commitment than WE’RE HAVING A KID FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES! Once you’re feeling comfortable with the new arrival, you can upgrade them to “roommate”. That way you won’t be disappointed when he/she leaves dishes all over your place and wets themselves. They’re just doing what roommates do.
  3. The baby won’t remember any mistakes you make in the first couple of years. Just knowing this takes the pressure way off.
  4. The baby will probably look like you. Don’t be alarmed. It’s just nature’s way of preventing you from having to go on Maury Povich’s “Paternity Tests Revealed”.
  5. The best present you can give your kid is to be present. Not always easy to remember. Less Facebook, more face-to-face. Cuz it goes by FAST. As my wife says, “The days can sometimes go slow but the years go quickly.”
  6. There are no correct answers for most of their questions. Trying to answer them will just give you migraines. Instead, simply combat their questions with questions. “I don’t know… why do YOU think giraffes don’t like cotton candy?”
  7. When you have a second kid, take a present to the hospital for the older one “from the baby”. It’s underhanded and manipulative but also effective. I didn’t just feel very good about doing it. I felt GREAT about doing it.
  8. When they do things that are trying, just pretend they’re someone else’s kid. Or that you’re telling the story years later at their wedding. Suddenly, throwing a watermelon in the grocery store is kind of funny.

TIP: Smell their head when they’re sleeping. It’s the best smell in the world. Doing it while they’re awake could be traumatizing.

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