Raising Davis: Privacy

I’LL BE IN MY OFFICE…

Working mom Meghan Bradley’s sanctuary is behind the closed door of her bathroom.

Remember the Brady Bunch? If you watched some of the reruns you’d remember that no one in the Brady family was allowed to disturb Mike Brady when he was working in his office. Well, it’s not much, but I have a very small office-like room, with a toilet, shower and tub where no one is
allowed to disturb me – the bathroom. Like Mike Brady, my family knows not to disturb me while I am in the bathroom unless the house is on fire! It’s my private time.
Privacy was one of Davis’ first words. He learned it early because he was never allowed in the bathroom with Mommy. I would close the door and say, “Mommy needs her privacy now” and he
would repeat the word over and over through the door. “Privacy? Mommy needs privacy?” Now that he is almost five years old, he too, likes his privacy and will ask the rest of us to wait while he is in the bathroom. I thought this was normal until the topic came up for this article.
I learned that other moms have no problem with their kids being in the bathroom when they’re doing everything from showering to using the toilet. I also learned that some of my friends still have this going on even though their kids are well in to their teens. I was raised to be very private, so this was fascinating news to me.
Growing up, I knew that some of my friends were relaxed about their bathroom habits. And they were okay with dressing and undressing in front of other friends while I always found a way to be behind a closed door.
I remember going to a women’s weekend at a cottage and the indoor plumbing was shot. At night, you had to find a friend to accompany you to the outhouse. One person shone a flashlight in the outhouse so you could see what you were doing and the other had to go about their business. I was in my 30s and this was the first time I had ever peed with someone watching, let alone shining a light on me! It remains the only time I’ve ever peed with an audience.
Davis’ older sisters are 14-year-old twins. They do everything together including using the toilet, changing and showering while the other is in the same room. When their dad and I were first married, it took some time for them to get used to my privacy rules. They quickly learned that this was just “my thing” and they respected that. They are very relaxed about their privacy and will likely be relaxed moms with their kids.
I couldn’t change now if I wanted to. I am the way I am and it has rubbed off on Davis to be private about, well, his privates. Although, he will still take a lap around the house when he gets out of the bath and has no problem being a superhero, naked, with a hooded towel floating behind him!
I have to admit one thing. I do spend more time in the bathroom than I need to because it has
become a bit of a sanctuary. My family is probably going to suggest a bran cereal soon, but little do they know, that the plumbing is working just fine! Mommy just needs her privacy for a few more minutes.

READ ABOUT WHAT OTHER PARENTS SAID:

Published June 2010