Help—I’m Struggling to Get My Kid to Eat When We Aren’t at Home

If you have a kid who struggles with meals away from home, it can make everything from dinner out to a week-long vacation a major challenge for the whole family. We spoke to registered dietitian Adrianna Smallwood to get her expert advice on how to handle this issue.

Picky eaters—they’re not always super-easy to love. (Of course, we adore our tots, but fussy diners can be a massive pain.) It’s bad enough when your kid doesn’t want to eat what you’ve cooked in your own kitchen, but what are you supposed to do when you’re on holiday, or away at hockey tournaments and dance competitions? We posed five questions about this very topic to Adrianna Smallwood, a registered dietitian, the founder of Newfound Balance and a clinical dietitian with Eastern Health in Newfoundland and Labrador. Here’s what she told us.

ParentsCanada: Not that we should be divulging this to a registered dietitian, but we know how we are on holiday—calories be damned! That said, we don’t really want our kids eating fast food the entire time we’re away, but restaurants (if not at an all-inclusive) can get rather pricey. How can families eat healthfully on a budget? 

Adrianna Smallwood: I like to talk about special-occasion foods or treats at my house. We don’t use the word “junk food,” so when we’re on holiday, it’s expected we’re going to get to pick and eat some of the foods we wouldn’t normally eat at home. Remember, it’s the things you do every day that impact your health and your children’s health, so a weekend holiday, or even a week or two, isn’t going to throw everyone’s health into turmoil.

If you’re staying somewhere that doesn’t have a fridge, stock up at a local grocery store and get some fruit, nuts and seeds, a loaf of bread and peanut butter (or other nut butter) and granola bars. Have some healthier snack foods readily available for the daytime and make the evening the time to eat out. If you have a fridge in your accommodations, you can buy things like yogurt, hummus, cheese and carrot sticks. It’s easy to make a little hotel breakfast of yogurt, berries and a muffin or granola bar. Lunch could be a peanut-butter sandwich and carrot sticks or a banana. When you go out, you can take homemade trail mix. This way, you’re only eating out once a day and having a picnic adventure in your hotel room while also enjoying some healthier food options that won’t break your budget.

ParentsCanada: Let’s face it—for parents, picky eaters aren’t super awesome to deal with in the privacy of your own home, let alone while away from your kitchen. What are you supposed to do when you know your kid is like this and you’re going away? How do you best prepare? 

AS: First, temper tantrums are a normal part of childhood, so let’s give ourselves some grace. At several points during your time away, there will be meltdowns, and that’s okay. There’s probably a kid at the next table doing the same thing. We have allergies and special dietary accommodations in our house, so I honestly just pack a suitcase or bag that’s filled with food or snacks that I know will be acceptable. I have never been to a restaurant that has discouraged me from giving my small child a snack from my purse while we eat a meal to keep them happy. Aside from food, I might pack a colouring book and crayons, a toy or, as a last-ditch effort, a phone for screen time. The restaurant battle doesn’t have to happen. Your child can have a little meal prior to going out and they can have a snack at the restaurant while everyone eats. It’s win-win. The other option is to check menus online for restaurants in the area and go over them with your child in advance so they can find something they like outside the hectic and sometimes stressful restaurant setting.

At the end of the day, you know your kids best, so come prepared with their safe foods. Everyone knows someone with allergies, intolerances and preferences these days. No one will bat an eye if your kid doesn’t eat with you or if they just have a snack while you order your meal.

ParentsCanada: Some experts say parents should let finnicky kids choose where they eat when away, but honestly, some of our kids would choose a certain fast-food joint for breakfast, lunch and dinner, if given the option. Do you believe picky eaters should have a say in where the family eats when on vacation? Why or why not? 

AS: There is this wonderful dietitian named Ellyn Satter who has written many books on raising healthy children and ensuring they have a healthy relationship with food. She talks about the “division of responsibility” in feeding. Her theory is that parents are responsible for what, when and where children eat, while children are responsible for how much and whether they eat. Sometimes behaviours can break down when these roles are confused or reversed, and parents let the children decide all the meals and whether they will sit in front of the TV or at the table, for example. I always encourage families to follow these rules, but I also encourage parents let their children have some responsibility and freedom to choose a meal or two. So, my suggestion is to compromise. A holiday is exciting and I’m sure there are foods and places your kids are excited to try. Keeping this in mind, perhaps let them choose one or two places you eat or, say, let them choose a place for dessert (like their favorite ice cream shop). It’s nice to let them have some independence and let them feel their opinion is important but letting them choose all the places takes away your responsibility of choosing when and where they are eating to ensure they’re getting the balance they need.

ParentsCanada: Some parents are quite rigid during mealtimes—even when they’re not at home. No judgement, but that doesn’t necessarily seem fun for excited kids. How can parents who are firmer at home be a bit looser in terms of rules around meals while on vacation? Or should they? 

AS: I think this is an example of parents knowing their kids best. Some children are at their best when they stick to their schedule and routine. There is nothing wrote with trying to stick to your schedule from home as best as you can while away, but you also don’t have to. Eating extra French fries while on vacation isn’t going to compromise their health. If you close your eyes and think back to your childhood, so many poignant memories are associated with favourite foods—think cotton candy at the fair and popcorn at the movies. All foods are healthy because they satisfy difference needs, and treat foods satisfy our taste buds and make us happy. When you look at the whole picture, it might make it easier to relax some of those rules around food. Being too strict might not be the healthiest option either.

ParentsCanada: What should parents do if their kids simply won’t eat while away? Maybe they’re fussy, maybe they won’t try new foods (depending on your destination). Should we bring “back-up foods” from home? Should you just get your kids whatever they want to ensure they eat? Do we force them to try something on the menu whether they like it or not? 

AS: I would never “force” a child to eat anything. I would encourage families to ensure that if they chose a restaurant and have a picky eater in tow, that they pre-check the menu to ensure there is at least one safe food that your child likes. This will save stress for everyone. As I mentioned, I think it’s also acceptable to pack favourite foods from home and for your kids to eat before going to the restaurant—they can sit there and colour while you eat. We have a rule at our house: You don’t have to finish your meal or even eat at all, but you must sit at the table until everyone is finished. Sometimes they sit there and chat about their day and other times, after a little break, they’ll continue to eat because they were hungry and there’s no pressure.